What Are Our Kids Watching?

Every year, I look forward to fireworks, but probably not for the reason most people do. It's not because I'm captivated by the explosions in the sky. It's because I enjoy watching my kids even more than I enjoy watching the fireworks. Their excitement is contagious. The way their faces light up, the pointing, the laughter, the anticipation before the next burst. Watching them experience that sense of wonder never gets old.

But let's flip the script for a minute.

While I'm watching them, they're watching me.

Not just on the Fourth of July, but every ordinary day in between. They're watching how I respond when life doesn't go according to plan. They notice what happens when someone spills a drink, forgets something important, talks back, or makes a mistake. They're paying attention when I'm stressed, frustrated, disappointed, or angry. Those moments don't feel significant at the time, but they may be some of the most influential moments they'll ever witness.

My pastor often says, "More is caught than taught," and I think about that phrase often. We spend so much time trying to teach our kids the right things to say, how to treat people, how to handle challenges, and how to make good decisions. But what they actually carry with them has far less to do with our instructions than our example. They aren't just listening to what we tell them. They're learning from what they consistently see us do.

That can feel like a lot of pressure. None of us responds perfectly every time. I certainly don't. There are moments I wish I could rewind and handle differently. The goal isn't perfection. It's becoming aware enough to slow down before our emotions take over. To choose a response instead of an automatic reaction. To model humility by apologizing when we get it wrong. To let our children see that growth doesn't stop when you become an adult.

One day they'll find themselves standing where we are now. They'll have relationships, careers, families, unexpected stress, and ordinary days that test their patience. In those moments, they'll naturally reach for what they've practiced and what they've watched for years.

May everything they see in us be something we'd be proud to watch them carry into the next generation.

The fireworks last only a few minutes.

Our everyday reactions leave an impression that lasts a lifetime.