Contradictions Can Coexist

More Than One Thing Can Be True
As simple as I intend to keep life, I can still be an easy person to misunderstand. If you don’t fully know me, some of the things you see might seem contradictory or even questionable. I’m okay with that, because those differences often open the door to some of the best conversations. I’ve never fit neatly into one box, and I’m not supposed to. Some parts of me may not seem to go together at first, but when you see the whole picture, they make perfect sense.

My Work Life
I am serious about my work life, but I am also ridiculously playful in general life. I can be having a completely professional conversation one minute, then telling dad jokes and pranking someone the next. When I'm focused on my writing, creating content, prepping projects, or involved in meetings and planning, I dive in headfirst and take what I'm doing very seriously. When I'm in my natural, relaxed element in between all of that, I am unapologetically silly and playful. Neither version is more authentic than the other. They're both me.

My Business
I run my hair business with a pay-what-you-can-afford approach, and I am carrying that same philosophy into my new business. I don't measure success solely by revenue, pricing structures, or predictable monthly numbers. For me, a bigger measure of success is being able to use the gifts God has given me to serve people who may not otherwise be able to afford it. I believe the Lord provides abundantly, and sometimes what one person can afford helps make room for someone else who can't. I don’t find generosity and success to be opposites. I don't have to sacrifice one to have the other. It may not be the way everyone would choose to operate a business, but it's a model that allows me to combine two things that matter deeply to me: building something successful and using it to serve others. I love that those two things can coexist so beautifully in my world.

Mom Life
Being a mom is another area where I think people can make assumptions based on what they see from the outside. I have a social life. I travel. I have hobbies, a business, invested friendships, and a life outside of being a mom. But none of that changes the fact that my kids come before everything else. I am not a sideline parent. I am present. I am engaged. I teach. I support. I play. I love fiercely. I make the time, I make the memories, and when they need me, I am there. Having a life of my own doesn't mean my children get less of me. It means they get to see their mom living a joy-filled life, without motherhood being her only identity, while still knowing without question that they come first.

My Faith Life
The same thing applies to my faith. I love Jesus deeply, I help lead a faith-based recovery program, and I participate in many ministries. I also love to dance, sing karaoke, and have a good time. When I don't have my kids for the weekend, you might find me at a bar, because that is where those things take place. But a location doesn't tell you what someone is doing there or define who they are. I'm not there to drink. I'm there to dance, sing, meet people, and enjoy life. And interestingly enough, some of the most meaningful conversations I've had about Jesus have happened in those very places, including conversations that have ended with invitations to Celebrate Recovery on a Friday or church the next morning. I can take my faith seriously without believing I have to take myself so seriously all the time, and God can use me wherever I happen to be.

My Boundaries
I'm not a mean person because I have learned to have boundaries. I can be firm when I need to be without being unkind. I can have compassion for someone's circumstances without taking responsibility for their choices. I can love someone and still say no. Learning that has been a big part of my own growth, and I don't think boundaries make us less loving. They allow us to love people in healthier ways. Having boundaries doesn't mean I've hardened my heart. It means I've learned how to love without abandoning myself.

My Communication Style
I think my communication style is another part of me that can sometimes be misunderstood. I'm naturally pretty direct, and I don't always say what people want to hear. I say what I believe they need to hear because I care enough to be honest with them. I've been told that, on the surface, I can come across as intimidating or even abrasive. I can understand that, especially when I'm focused, passionate in what I'm relaying, or addressing something uncomfortable that needs to be addressed. But if you actually work with me and get to know me, you'll discover that underneath that directness is someone who is incredibly genuine, welcoming, kind, and truly caring. I can be all of those things and still tell someone a hard truth when the situation calls for it. For me, honesty isn't about tearing someone down or proving a point. It's about caring enough to be real while still being mindful of how I deliver it. I don't believe kindness requires me to soften every truth until it no longer has any value. I believe truth and kindness can coexist.

Navigating Life
Adapting to my circumstances doesn't make me fake. It makes me aware of my surroundings and responsible enough to understand that different situations call for different things from me. The way I show up professionally isn't the same way I show up with friends. The way I respond to someone who is hurting isn't the same way I respond when someone needs a firm boundary. The way I am at a networking event is not the same way I am at a dance event. That isn't being fake. That's simply being a human being who knows how to navigate life accordingly.

The Bigger Picture
I think sometimes we see one side of someone and decide that we've figured them out. But we rarely know the whole story. I've spent a lot of my life learning not to let other people's assumptions determine who I am. I don't need every part of me to make sense to every person. I just need to be honest about who I am, intentional about how I live, and willing to keep growing. At the end of the day, my character and core values remain rock solid no matter what part of life I’m living.

More than one thing can be true about us at the same time. We can be serious and silly, strong and tender, generous and successful, faithful and fun, direct and kind, boundaried and compassionate. We don't have to choose one version of ourselves simply because it's the version other people understand most easily. For me, this isn't a collection of contradictions I'm constantly trying to reconcile. It's simply the balance of a life that is authentically mine.

Being misunderstood isn't always a sign that we're doing something wrong, it can quite simply mean someone is seeing only one piece of the bigger picture.